I was curious about Emily Graves. She was the little orphaned niece of my GG Grandmother, Henrietta Goodall Hardin. Little Emily’s father died when she was 2 years old and it is likely that after his death, she and her mother came to live with my GG grandparents, Henrietta and Gus Hardin. Then, when Emily was only 9 years old, her mother died, and after that she definitely was living with her Aunt Henrietta and Uncle Gus. Henrietta and Gus had one child, Nanine (my G Grandmother), who was about 7 years older than Emily. By looking at the censuses, I found that Emily lived with the Hardins until her death in 1922. She died at age 32 and had never married.
It was a long shot, but I thought that perhaps if I could find out more about Emily, it would give me some clues as to why Henrietta had committed suicide in 1915 at the age of 55. So, I sent off for Emily’s death certificate hoping for some revealing information. This week I received the certificate in the mail and found that Emily was a hemophiliac and died of a hemoptysis. I learned that not all types of hemophilia are inherited. Sometimes the condition is associate with autoimmune conditions. I don't think we'll ever know which was the case with Emily.
That news didn’t really give me any solid hints as to why Emily's Aunt Henrietta committed suicide and had suffered for at least a year from “melancholia”, as indicated on her death certificate. I contacted my cousin Anne to see what she knew. I learned that Henrietta Hardin had been the caregiver for her ill and elderly mother, Emily Goodall. Also, I learned, Henrietta suffered from incapacitating migraines. In addition to that, Anne had a vague recollection that Henrietta's niece, Emily Graves, was connected to a story about a young relative that squeezed a cat to death. Anne called to her mother, my aunt Anne, to she if she could remember any stories about Emily that had been passed down through the family, and to inquire about the alleged cat-squeezing incident.
The only story that Aunt Anne could remember about Emily was one that her grandmother, Nanine had often shared. Apparently, she told the story of little Emily having, as a young child, squeezed a kitten so hard that she killed it. Little Emily sat there squeezing the kitten and murmuring in a soft voice “I’ll make your eyes bug out…I’ll make you breath hard.”
Perhaps Emily was a bit of a handful and we’d like to remember her for more than being a hemophiliac, orphaned, cat squeezer, but that’s all we seem to be able to dredge up about her. And, for all we know Nanine might have exaggerated the story and been a slight bit jealous of this younger cousin, perhaps with significant health problems, who came to live with them. We’ll never know, but in the end, I’m glad for these family tales, whether they are completely true or not. They add color to our family story, and as someone once said, there is really no such thing as non-fiction.
For Henrietta, perhaps the pressures of being a caretaker for her elderly mother and a sickly and possibly difficult niece, along with the burden of unbearable migraines all contributed to her depression and eventual suicide. We will never know. Henrietta had spent a previous winter in Florida with relatives, taking Emily Graves with her. She and Emily spent time at the French Lick Springs in Indiana. In the summer before her death Henrietta and a private nurse went to Atlantic City for a month. But, it was reported that none of these cured her of her afflictions, and she only became worse. There are times when we all probably walk a thin line between coping and not coping with what life throws at us. On September 29, 1915 Henrietta unfortunately stepped across that line and pulled out a gun, thinking that was her only option. Her nurse had only stepped away briefly to prepare her dinner tray at their home in Louisville, Kentucky. The gun was an old one, that had belonged to a relative. Others in the home didn't even know it was still in the house. Her husband was at work at the time.
-Mary
UPDATE: I've been able to locate the newspaper article about Henriett's suicide which I post below. I think the article in in error and that G.W. Hardin was not a lawyer.
ReplyDeleteCourier-Journal (Louisville, Ky) Sep 29, 1915
LAWYER’S WIFE ENDS LIFE IN CRESCENT HILL HOME
MRS. G.W. HARDIN SHOOTS HERSELF THROUGH HEART AFTER LONG ILLNESS
Mrs. Etta Goodall Hardin, wife of G.W. Hardin of the legal department of the Louisville Railway Company, shot herself in the heart at 1 o’clock yesterday afternoon at her home, 205 Kennedy court, and died almost instantly. She had been in ill health two years. She spent a month at Atlantic city early in the summer, a trained nurse accompanying her on the trip, but her condition grew worse and she returned home the latter part of June.
For several days she seemed improved and was able to go out, but the inclement weather yesterday kept her indoors. She was alone in her room, her nurse having gone to the kitchen with a tray of dinner dishes, when the report of a pistol shot was heard. Going upstairs she discovered Mrs. Hardin on the floor.
Dr. Ben Choate was summoned, but he found her life extinct. The revolver which Mrs. Hardin used was an old one, formerly owned by a relative and its presence in the house had been forgotten by other members of the family. Her husband was in the city on business.
Besides her husband Mrs. Hardin is survived by a daughter, Mrs. Huston Fairleith; a niece, Miss Emily Graves, and two grandchildren. She was 55 years old.